A Book A Day Project (May 2012)

In an attempt to save any other non-work, non-career living part of me, I dared myself to read and finish a book a day.

The Mechanics are simple, I get a short book a day and read it. Trick is-- not to disrupt any part of my usual routine. It must fall in the nooks and crannies within my day where i'm either falling prey to facebook, twitter, or worst: NOTHINGNESS.

I must strive to read, and read again.

As I said:  never let yourself drown in work. grab a book, get a philosophy, have a life, share the love. Coz if you drown in work and starve your spirit, you'll die with some cash, a little property, a poor soul and no love. :))

3 Main Reasons Why I can’t convince myself to buy an iPhone.

3 Main Reasons Why I can’t convince myself to buy an iPhone.

I’ve had a slew of arguments with my friends regarding this. And I think, they’ve all given up on me (haha), as they should (#TrueFriends). They often say: “GO. GET ONE.” Or “WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET ONE” or “JUST GET THIS.”

But fact is I can’t just go and spend without putting thought to an expense. That’s like going against all the things I forced in every freakin’ nook and cranny of my brain.

In Marketing we’re taught how to make consumers “think” that they can’t live without a product. In Project Managent we’re taught to control cost. In economics, we’re educated with the difference between needs and wants. In accounting, there is such a thing as depreciating asset. In IT we’re trained to ensure that solutions are cost-efficient and effective. I could go on, and on, but point is—what good does having an education do if it is not used?

Okay. So tell me if I’m crazy, but here are the 5 Main reasons why I always lose at myself when debating on getting an iPhone or not. :)

BTW-- Just a disclaimer. 


(1) I have nothing against iPhones. I freakin' love the product. I'm an apple-holic. And if you ask me... what i'd buy or drown myself in when I win the US Lotto-- it's Apple Products. <3 It's just that. This year, I posed the challenge to myself to start thinking of every decision I make as something, I might take with me as I grow old. (habit of decision making). Hence. Based on my personal economic statistics (what I make, what I need, what I want.. etc) I have to ensure that I make decisions that would keep me safe in the future.


(2) The analysis below is totally based on my lifestyle and needs. I can't convince myself, for the sole reason that IN MY LIFE, the cost out weighs the utility. Things would be totally different and my decision would vastly be affected if I was to be placed ON-SITE/ON-CALL, and ON-THE-MOVE all the time. Frankly, I'm mostly in the office, at home, or in a place with good wifi. haha. I'm barely out of town, and my out-of-thecountry events are usually for vacations (where I usually want to be offline -- most of the time) haha. 


Some people wonder where all their hard earned cash goes, some even don't know if they're making or losing money. This year, I simply just want to make sure that every spending is rational, thought of, needed-- and if it's not need, well at least it should be worth it based on my own personal priorities. 

3. The Cost. It’s been a 2 year thought process, this thing about the iPhone. And sure, I can just go and get one. I’ve applied, been approved, and abruptly cancelled so many times in Globe and Smart, that I think—if there was an “applicant blacklist” or indecisive customer list—I’ll probably be Number 1 there.

Frankly, I’m not rich enough that I can blindly throw away money on an expenditure I might not even actually need. Basic economics: wants are different from needs. I always keep in mind that money I spend in Telco (communications) is money I can no longer spend on something else (ie: family, charity, education, books). Basic Concept: Allocation.

More so, having the money to spend is one thing, deciding on what to spend on is another. Anyone can blindly allocate money for different things, everyone can empty out a bank account, and it wouldn’t even take a genius to get buried in debt. But it takes an educated man to grow P1.00 to something more. I mean, the only difference between a poor man and a rich man is education. 

2. The Need. Fact is, I don’t need it. I’m not that of an important person to be connected all the time. More so, usually during the times I’m offline (I usually want it that way). Hence, when I tried to analyze why I need it – It just boiled down to the fact that I wanted to stay connected all the time (twitter, facebook, chat, etc) but honestly—I don’t really have the need for it.

I mean, I’m no celebrity, executive—or anything.

1. The Attention. Call me old fashion, call me selfish, but when I’m with someone I want their full attention on me. Ever had those dinners where no one’s even talking anymore? Or there exists that awkward silence because everyone’s checking their phones, their emails, making noise in social media rather than in person. Ever get annoyed that someone’s working during quality time?

Call me crazy but I actually like being SOCIAL, “sociable” in face to face conversation and instances and not just in social media. Some people live their whole lives in social media, and leave their real social life to die.

Hence, by not joining the band wagon -- I hope an additional 3 things for myself:

3. Cost Savings. Obviously, by not purchasing an additional gadget-- I'll save myself the on going cost of maintaining said gadget and obtaining a depreciating asset. I'll have the freedom to put my money else where, ie: investments or travel! haha

2. More time to be alone with myself and be disconnected with society. Ever had that feeling, where you feel -- there's really just too much social noise? Well, I do. And sometimes.. I really just want to shut-my-self from everything when it's not needed. Weekdays, sure, I drown in social noise... but the weekends-- ah. there's a time to go MIA.

1. More focused attention. When I'm with my Family and Friends, I literally want to "BE" in the moment with them... and not tweeting about it or posting it somewhere. When I'm with people I want to ensure that I make conversation (no matter how awkward it is) or how painful it could be. 

One thing I learned—in all of this is: the world can wait.

And, sometimes-- we have to appreciate social silence and the disconnect.

Appreciate the moment, and the moments you have—don’t get too caught up in recording moments, people, and places.. You might risk skipping the living-the-moment part. 

Rome wasn't built in a day

Rome wasn't built in a day. 

+And the people who built it, really wanted to build rome by the end of their days.


Just a random thought that went through my head the other day.


Don't you find it funny how nowadays, we're always in a rush.  


Always in a rush for some vague type of success that we can't really define.


We're all sure that we just want to be "successful" but the "what" "why" and "how" part sometimes eludes us. Successful, yes, but in what field? hmm.


That's the thing I find troubling with my generation. Everyone's sure they want to be "successful." But lack the passion in a field and concreteness of idea. Successful, doing what? 

"I don't know yet" is an answer I often hear.

Hence, at the age of 20, just after graduating college. We grow more fearful instead of confident. Now, we're afraid of, flunking behind our age. Fearing that we're not reaching our "goals" fast enough. 

"I want to be a super business woman by 25" -- selling what?

"I want to be a super successful by 30" -- doing what?

"I want to retire by 40" -- having established what?

All those vague wants that doesn't really come with a "HOW" doing "WHAT" by "WHEN." 


See, the way my grandfather did was, he  started with a vocation that he loved and built it from then on out. He was a carpenter, that wanted to make a living for his family. From that point, his business grew from simple wood works, to furniture, to full on, head on construction and thus history.  

See the difference?

we go and say: "Rome wasn't built in a day" for comfort, as if saying: "Success can't be built in a day". 


I guess, rather than building "Rome" we're more concerned with building and having the grandeur that came with Rome.


My Grandfather's Rome was carpentry.What's your Rome? 

How a Spoiled Brat Learned to Earn

I guess one of the most disappointing things is to entrust things that you value to people that you trust and not have that returned. 


It's an even greater disappointment when things like this are repeated. 


But what do you do? It's not as if you can just get mad, every single time. Frankly, I don't get mad-- it's frustrating. Rather, I ask: How do you teach "the value of_____" 


How do you teach people to put value on objects? to put value on other people's value on those items?


I guess, you can't.


They have to learn the value of "earning" first.  Something hard, when everything is simply provide for you.


Forgive me if I sound preachy but I grew up a spoiled brat. So I understand the feeling of taking things for granted. Believe me, it's easy to do. Take things for granted because everything is provided for.


When everything is automatically given, without you having to ask-- valuation/worth goes down. Economy even follows this law. ie: when demand is low, supply is high, price goes down. 


It was only when my parents suddenly implemented a: "get your grades up otherwise you get no toys" rule that I learned the process of "earning" and learned to put "value" on the toys that I used to regard as simple commodity. In this situation, my demand was the same BUT the market suddenly imposed supply control. Same or increasing demand, decreasing supply, price goes up. 


When my parents told me, I had to "earn" my toys-- Let me tell you I was freakin pissed off. This was a change, and of course I was resistant to it. 

"why do I have to work for it now? when you use to just give it to me?!"

- My 6- YO Self Frustratingly Asking my parents  

Well, they never really gave me a decent explanation and if they did, I must have didn't listen. All i knew, at the time was: WHY THE HELL DID I HAVE TO WORK FOR IT NOW? YOU USE TO JUST GIVE IT TO ME. 


I tried all in my power to resist this change. Getting people, my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandfolks, to get my toys for me, in place of my parents. Well, this didn't really work for long since: Mom & Dad soon explained what they were up to these people (whom we can refer to as my investors). Imagine my frustration. 


For a time being, I resisted this. "Rebelled" in a way. I just pretended that, it didn't bother me. I mean: WHAT SIX-YO kid needs toys anyways??! (said in a bitter manner)

"Fine. If you guys are going to be difficult, then I don't care"

- My 6- YO Self Learning Apathy

But It wasn't long until I gave in to this GRADE THING. 


NOW, I thank my parents for letting me go through that for the sole reason that now, I have a good sense of earning and value. I know that if I work smart, a little hard and be patient enough to "earn" my grades that I can "trade" it for the "toys" I want. 


A trait that I wouldn't have learned if everything was simply provided for me.


I guess, as parents, it wasn't easy to say "No" or "you have to wait" to your kid. Especially if that kid is pathetically crying as if it was the end of the world. But, now I realized that it's something you have to do (as parents). Else, a child will grow up not knowing how to earn, they'll grow old naively in a capitalistic world not knowing that money doesn't grow on trees. And that doesn't really help anyone. 


Your folks will die, finite material/financial inheritance will probably fade a way, but what cannot be lost is man's drive and ability to work, earn, and provide for himself and others. 

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

want to teach someone how to value things? you can't, they have to learn how to EARN first.


want we want to avoid? having people lose things in life you can't earn back. 

 "Only when you lose something, do you realize the value of it"

We're All Going To Die

Death is the only thing I fear (aside from cockroaches which I just find annoyingly irritating).

Death, because death is something I cannot control. Death is something I cannot decide on. It is, and always will be, out of my control.

But death is a state, I'll eventually be in.

That's why fear is not an option. So I asked myself why-- why did I fear something I could be in tomorrow?

The answer was simple: "I might not be ready."

Today might not have been be enough. Enough for what? Enough for me to say that I am content.

But then, I cannot go on fearing it. I cannot die afraid.

So what needs to be done? Be ready. Be ready, everyday of your life.

Don't do things you'll regret. 

Live your life in your own terms.

Say "I love you" when you feel it. 

And let yourself be at peace when you sleep.

And have faith, that the Lord with be with you to welcome you to his Kingdom.

Have faith that tomorrow will be better no matter where you spend it. 

When you should have said NO.

 (no) is not the easiest answer to give, especially for people pleasers. I find that Filipinos (no pun intended), including myself, sometimes find it hard (actually very difficult) to say no. 

We find it hard to say no to people who are superior (or we think are) and even people equal or of lesser stature than us. 

Why? Well, maybe mostly because it connotes a negative emotion. "No." as if you're closing a door or cutting a tie. 

But I'm betting that-- almost all of us have that moment when:

C'mon. Admit it or not.. we say YES to a lot things. 

Why? because sometimes... 

"Yes" makes annoying buggy people shut up. It's like: "sure, I'll do this.. just shut up, please."

"Yes" because we're avoiding an argument that will come with a NO.

"Yes" because sometimes, it takes a little more guts and courage to say "No." (especially to someone higher in rank, than you.)

But sometimes, we have to realize that NO will save us from a life of depression of being a victim to our own YESes. 

Time and again, I, myself have made the mistake of being a blind-yes-er. And, time and again, it really doesn't end well.

I guess it's because, during the times when I was just "pressured" (pushed into a corner) to say yes, i know that my heart was never into it. And when your heart's not into it, the rest would not follow. You'll end up becoming a slave to your own answers (and that is not a happy life).

So? What do we do? 

Say NO, when we don't want to-- and say YES only if we mean it. 

But if somewhere in the middle of a decision already made, we revert back and think:

"what if I said: Yes?"

"what if I said: No?"

Go back and ask yourself:

"what made me say: yes/no?"

"why did I say yes?"

"why didn't I said no?"

and then remember, that we cannot change the decisions we made in the past but we can control the decisions we'll make after that.

when life is in your control

when you know that your life is in your control;

when you acknowledge that things external to you can only be influenced and not fully controlled;

when you realize that what happens to you is directly related to the things you decide on but be humble enough to know that there are somethings out of your control.

The inevitable happens. And now,

Because, my life-- is in my control.

And what happens to me will be the fault of my own stupidity, not anyone else's.

It's boring, mainly because-- I know, what's going to happen next might not be visible to me, at first, but how i deal with it will inevitably be decided by, no one else but me.

How's your life?

Why can't people just answer my questions?

Sometimes, I wonder why people find it so hard to answer my questions. I think, I give them very simple questions-- they usually start with a: What, When, Where, How. I'm even kind enough to put "why" questions in the "difficult" or "challenging" level. More so, some questions, I ask are even answerable by a YES or a NO. 


But, time and time again-- I wonder... why do people give me such complicated answers or out-of-contexts statements for very simple questions.


And time and time again, I realize that:


To answer a question that you know the answer to is one of the easiest things to do. 

BUT THAT'S ONLY IF YOU KNOW THE ANSWER and CAN GIVE IT HONESTLY. 

I've always found that-- when people do not answer my questions, it's either one of the following:


It could be as simple as: 
1. they didn't understand the question (that's your fault and your responsibility to rephrase)
2. they don't know the answer (but sometimes can't fully admit that ---"THEYDONTKNOW")


Or as scary as:
3. they're pretending to know something that they don't.
4. they're hiding something or avoiding the truth.
5. they're lying


Questions are easy to answer-- IF YOU KNOW THE ANSWER and CAN GIVE IT HONESTLY.


Sometimes, " I Dont Know" is the answer -- Why not admit it?
Sometimes, all it would take is a simple: "yes" or "no"-- why not just say it?


So the next time someone avoids, dodges, or doesn't answer a question you're asking-- ask yourself: why. :)


And as the person who is asking, never fear the answer-- fear the question unanswered. 


Because the truth will remain the truth, regardless if it's "expressed" (communicated) or not-- WHY it's not being expressed/communicated is the "interesting" thing. :)

I'm Back!

Hey there, readers! I'm back! 

Where'd I go? Nowhere, really, -- I just went for a mini-vacation. 

A vacation away from "having things figured out."

I guess, I just got tired from following a life plan. Pretending to have things figured out at 21 is pretty scary.

I tried to plan my life like a project with aggressive deliverable timings. 

It was like: "by this time, I have to already have these things." It was all: "I don't have time for.." and "I have to make more time for..." And For a time there, I thought I had things figured out. 

But at 22, starting out in a new role, again, I suddenly had to "define" myself again.  

And I guess it was the most refreshing thing that ever happened in my life. 

Why? well, because all of a sudden, I had this freedom to start from scratch again. 

And, right now? Honestly, I still don't have things completely figured out.

But at least I'm at a good place that enables me to: 

1. Take things a day at a time, while

2. Keeping my values, beliefs, and principles, as I 

3. Learn New Things and 

4. Continue to Improve myself, at a pace that 

5. Still gives me space to enjoy my youth and my life.

Because, I always have these nightmares about death. And pretty much, that's all I used to fear.

But when I started making sure that I make each day good enough to be my last, I stopped fearing it.

SO NOW! I'm back, hoping to figure out things with you! 

Enjoy. ;-) 

Figuring Out: That I don't have things figured out

They say: admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. 

And that's it. I'm addicted to indecision. 

Of recent, that's what I've figured out: That I don't have things all figured out yet.

And most of the people I met? from 18 to 50, from rich to middle class,  from honor graduate to barely made it out of college alive, from chinese to filipino to american-- and it didn't matter what pace we were going or how our careers are right now

about 99% of them haven't figured out either only a lucky 1% have.

And maybe that's what life is about? Figuring things out, a moment at a time, a day at a time, a step at a time.

I could be wrong, but then again-- I'm still just: figuring it out.